Victories are how I feel about living through and beyond my health challenges. I’ve overcame several challenges throughout my short life. The things I have consumed and the activities or lack there of can either kill or heal. I continue to do my best to be a good steward and study of my body. I have two choices. Win with better health or let my health suffer and loose my life. I could sit around home, eat, drink, watch television and sleep. I did that for about 6 years. I gained a lot of weight and had no energy. I lived like a hermit. I felt like I was sitting around waiting to die. It was my love for people that made me realize that I needed to change my living situation so this is where I share my victories with my friends.
Asthma
During my childhood years 5 until 17 years, I suffered from Asthma. My Asthma attacks or episodes were pretty serious. When I ran or performed any type of vigorous activity, my asthma episodes were triggered where I could not breath. Even laughing out loud caused me to have shortness of breath. Imagine feeling like you are going to drown and you are gasping for air. Turns out that I was allergic to most of the plant life and other weeds and vegetation in Indianapolis.
I was fortunate enough to have a forward thinking doctor. That doctor told me if I ever got the opportunity to move and live in a dry climate area such as Arizona, I should start a running exercise program to build up my lung capacity. I followed that doctor’s advice and I gradually worked my distance and endurance from one quarter of a mile up to 10 miles without any asthma episodes. After three years living in Tucson, Arizona, the doctors told me my asthma was gone.
Obesity
Fat or obese because I was afraid to run and play like other children. Food became my best friend. My great grandmother and grandmothers were excellent cooks. I grew up in a neighborhood that had a lot of fruit trees and bushes. So, if I were not at home raiding the refrigerator, I was somewhere in the community eating a large juicy peach, plum or apple. I loved Sunday after church feast because it included homemade ice cream, cake or pie desserts. My asthma episodes made it almost impossible for me to play hard like my friends. I had a bicycle. I played some football and basketball. When I ran, I felt like I was pretty fast. But I had to be very careful. I had to chose between living or dying when it came to my daily recreational activities. Most of the time, I played checkers and cards with community senior citizens. I spent a lot of time with my mentors. I snacked so much back then because sweets were so inexpensive. My favorites were Peach Cobbler, Apple Crisp, Sweet Potatoes, German chocolate cake, Strawberry shortcake, any type of bakery goods. And, I especially love French cream horns. I was a chubby little boy. I overcame my chubby time when I joined the Air Force and moved to Tucson, Arizona. You would think that I learned my lesson about overeating. I believe I had until my next physical and mental challenge: Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. Again, I postpone exercising activities because my hand hurt so bad it was difficult to put on my clothing or do any simple daily task. The drugs the doctors prescribed kept me heavily sedated and hungry so I gained serious weight between 2005 and 2016 years. I have a great sense of humor and I have a hardy laugh. A lady I met while shopping at the grocer suggested that I play the role of the Black Santa. My maximum weight at one time was 270 pounds but I recently weighed in at 170 pounds.
Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Complex Regional Pain Syndrome
Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy now known as Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) which is a chronic pain condition that could occur as the result of peripheral nerve damage to legs, arms, feet and hands.
Fifteen years ago, I was exiting my office and slipped in a puddle of water. Imagine your feet in the air where your head should be, my body went vertical and I came down head first. I woke up two hours later in the nurse’s office. I was lucky that I did not break my spine but some how there was a delay to what would be my next health challenge. September 2005, it was as if I was struck by lightning. I got up from my chair and zap the pain knocked me off my feet. The pain was so sharp I laid in the floor balled up in the fetal position. My co-worker helped me to my feet. The pain was still there but not so bad. I drove home and made an appointment with my doctor. My doctor sent me to an orthopedic doctor and that physician gave me a cortisone shot in my left shoulder. I got about 3 days of relief but the pain moved from my left shoulder to my left forearm. Now, my forearm hurt like hell if there is any such thing. The doctor told me he had to wait 7 days before he could administer another cortisone shot. Counting down seven days later, I went to the doctor for another cortisone shot to relieve the pain in my left forearm. The pain moved from my forearm to my left middle and index fingers. Another 7 days and counting, I got another shot, but this time the pain in my fingers did not subside. In fact the pain in my fingers got worse and they changed color to a dark blue. Finally in December 2005, a doctor diagnosed that I had Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. I left my living conditions in the hands of my doctors. One day I asked my doctors if there was a possible cure and what was the end game for my health condition? My psychiatrist and psychologist repeated what they had told me when they started my pain treatment. They said, my condition was incurable and that they would help me live a comfortable life going forward. I did not feel like I was living. After they made a mistake on my drug prescription and Michael Jackson died from one of the drugs that I was taking, I had to make a major decision about my health. I thought to myself, the doctors and other health professionals can only do a little to help me maintain a healthy body, I figured it was up to me to overcome any challenges thrown my way like I did in the past. The best advice I received from my psychologist was to study the concept of Mindfulness living. I read a book about Mindfulness and searched for all the information I could find about it.. Ultimately, I used the Mindfulness concept to make my life changing decision. I decided to stop letting the medications beat me into submission and I began fighting for better health by detoxing my body and exercising whenever possible.The doctor told me that there was no cure and that I would have to live with this agonizing pain for the rest of my life. I still suffer from the pain but I use extreme exercising to help me deal with my condition. I run, dance Zumba, lift weights, play squash because these are my Zen moments that distract me from my pain. Pain for the rest of my life does not sound good but I love exercising so I do just that and beat that feeling with love.
Opioid Addiction
My family practice doctor referred me to doctors that specialize in the treatment of chronic pain. It seemed like their first line of treating CRPS was to prescribe opioid drugs or which are commonly called pain killers. My pain management team consisted of a Psychologist, Psychiatrist, Medical doctor, Physical therapist and a Nurse Practitioner. The psychiatrist was the head of my care team where he would make drug recommendations and write prescriptions. Depression is one of the main concerns of my care team so the psychologist made recommendations on my drug protocol. The physical therapist taught me how to approach my daily task to maximize my overall comfort. The Medical doctor and the nurse practitioner monitored and recorded my blood pressure, heart rate and my reactions to any prescribed drugs. And they usually processed any refills or wrote prescriptions as directed. During the time I was under the care of the pain management team, I was prescribed numerous drugs. Most if not all of my drugs were formulated with addictive chemicals. The major chemical in my pain, depression and sleep medications was opioid based compounds. The goal of pain management is to make daily life comfortable and bearable. I took drugs to energize me in the morning while another drug was suppose to suppress my pain. I took pain pills three times each day. I took pills to help me deal with possible depression. I took stool softeners because the other pills made me constipated and finally, I took an opioid based psychotropic drug to help me fall asleep at night. First of all I was not addicted to opioids by choice. In fact I did not know I was addicted to opioids until the doctors messed up my prescriptions and I went about three days without my pain and sleep medications. I was hot one minute and cold the next, I spent long periods in the bathroom vomiting or with diarrhea. I sweated so bad that I had to change my bed covers and clothes quite frequently, In 2012, I had to move in with my mother to help her recover from her hip replacement surgery. It was during this time, I decided to quit taking my medication because I felt I had to stay alert for her.
Sleep Apnea
I always try to get a good night sleep. I told my pain management doctors that I was having a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. So, they prescribed a psychotropic opioid drug that got me to sleep quickly. Even though I was sleeping throughout the night I was still feeling tired the next day. The doctors ordered a sleep study where I went to special facility designed for monitoring and recording overnight sleep. The doctor and nurses at that facility recorded that I had stopped breathing several times during my sleep study. My doctors advised me that I had sleep apnea and they promptly ordered me a continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) machine. The cpap machine worked to keep my airway open during my sleep. The sound from the machine was low but it was still very annoying. After some brief research for the cause and cure of Sleep Apnea, I discovered that obesity and drugs contribute and promote this condition. I no longer take any type of drugs and I reduced my weight from 270 pounds to 165 pounds. Additionally, I sleep with a humidifier mist next to my bed, so I believe I beat back or minimized my Sleep Apnea. I get a great nights sleep everyday.
Depression
Growing up, I was teased and I felt tormented by kids and adults alike because of my asthmatic condition and I was fat. I wasn’t very happy with my social situation, so I retreated to my home and room where my sanctuary was books and craft projects. I was probably suffering through depression at that time but I knew nothing about that. I wasn’t happy with my physical existence because of how people were treating me because of my asthma and being fat. Depression in word and concept was not a term that I knew much about. All I knew was that I was not happy. I had days where I felt sad and tired because I was treated like a social outcast when I went to high school. It was probably a blessing because I ignored the taunts by focusing on getting good grades. Nowadays, depression is a highly used term to describe the emotional turmoil that myself and others were and are dealing with. I did what I could to lose weight without triggering an asthma episode. I lost enough weight so I could join the military. During my military service, I eliminated my asthmatic condition with exercise and my running program. I kept my weight under control and daily exercising became my therapy. I maintained my own weight standards and suffered through the highs and lows of living. Actually life is perfect all the time, it is how we emotionally deal with it during what we call the good and bad times. Almost 30 years after dealing with my image, I fail and hurt myself on the job and was disabled with chronic pain. I began gaining weight because I let my pain and medication limit my activities. I began having flashbacks of how I felt when I was that fat kid. Even though I felt like the best man on earth, I knew I was getting fat and I was not happy with that. My doctors introduced me to the concepts of meditation and mindfulness. I quit taking painkillers and detoxed my body from those drugs. But it was almost too late, because on the day after my 58th birthday, I went to the doctor where she thought I was having serious heart problems. At that time, my weight was about 270 pounds. Soon after checking okay with my heart rate, I was diagnosed with Throat cancer. Instead of letting the ideal that my life would end due to cancer, I starting thinking about living hard and strong. I used the two month period where I was under radiation treatment and chemo therapy and taking daily nutrition through a straw in my stomach to plan my future. Daily in the morning and before bed, I concentrate on positive thought and making motivating affirmations about how I was going to beat cancer down and live my life going forward. I think if you living a fully active life, you are going to have good and bad times. I realize everyone is different with how he or she deals with life situations. Somehow, we all need to take care of our emotional health. I discovered my pathway to deal with depression by working physically and mentally hard. Think about it, it’s personal everything about who you are or want to be. My advice is that you find your path to beat the bad times with good times and love.
Throat Cancer
Radiation Therapy Mask
Chemotherapy Room
Feeding Tube Syringe
Good cells gone bad is how I think about cancer. I never thought I would get cancer. I have heard of breast, colon, pancreatic and other types of cancer. But I was not familiar with throat cancer. After my 58th birthday when I had my heart attack scare, I started having trouble swallowing and breathing. Every time I drank something it would go down my air pipe instead of my throat. I gagged on drink and food. Finally, I made an appointment with my personal doctor. It was going to be about two weeks before I would get in to see him. I called the practice again to get an earlier appointment and told the nurse I believe I would probably be dead if I had to wait any longer. She suggested that I go to the emergency room. The ER doctor called in a cancer doctor that specialized in otolaryngologist. The otolaryngologist ran a scope down my throat and advised me that there was a tumor in my throat. He told me that he believed I had Lymphoma or Non-Hopkins Lymphoma and added that it was stage 4. The doctor told me I should take care of my personal affairs because he gave me 5 to 6 months to live. Another doctor ordered a biopsy to check the progress and possible destruction of the throat tumor. The first doctor wanted to cut a hole in my throat and work on the tumor from outside to the inside. He actually wanted to break my jaw bone and cut into my throat. But the senior physician decided that the biopsy could be performed without cutting a hole in my throat. Of course, I let the senior doctor take the lead and he ultimately performed the biopsy without cutting a hole in my throat. Everything was moving so fast. I came to the emergency room for answers where I ended up being diagnosed with cancer, admitted to the hospital where I was scheduled for an early morning surgery. Once they removed a tissue sample of skin from my throat tumor, they examined it and determined that I would be treated with Radiation and Chemotherapy. Imagine thinking about that this is possibly going to be your last Thanksgiving and Christmas. The senior physician set me up with the Community North Hospital Cancer Center. My cancer treatment did not begin until two days after Christmas. I met with Radiation therapy doctor and his team. And then, I met with the Chemotherapy doctor and his team. My schedule was set for both teams. My first day with the Radiation therapy team, I was fitted with a skin protective mask. My first appointment with the Chemotherapy team they drew blood and explained the possible side effects of the drug and the time it took for each treatment. Somehow I have repressed my memories of my cancer treatments even though I spent almost 70 days going to the hospital for treatment. I thought chemotherapy would be the brutal part of my treatment because of all the talk about possible side effects such as vomiting and diarrhea however I did not have those problems. The doctor had to change my chemo drug to prevent kidney damage. I was fortunate that they corrected the problem in time to keep the chemo drug from damaging or even killing my kidneys. Imagine being treating for cancer and dying from kidney failure. Because of the wrong drug, I did have to spend a little more time with my chemo treatment. I spent at least six hours per session of chemo while my radiation treatment was only about 30 minutes. The worst side effect from my cancer treatment was my mouth and throat developed highly sensitive sores. I was prescribed drugs that numbed the inside of my mouth so I could eat. However, my ability to taste food was seriously altered. Everything I ate was too dry and tasted terrible. After awhile, the pain in my mouth from trying to eat and drink became unbearable. So the Radiation doctor scheduled me for an operation to insert a straw in my stomach so I could take on nourishment directly in my stomach. For about 30 days, I used a giant syringe to force a protein mixture into the straw attached or inserted in my stomach. I poured 30 grams of protein into my stomach six times a day. I also poured water into my stomach through a syringe. I lost about 50 pounds during this diet period. After about two months of Radiation and Chemotherapy, the doctor in charge of my overall care advised me that the tumor was gone. However my treatment did not end. Because, I did not use my throat for swallowing for a substantial time, I was sent to a specialist. The specialist taught me how to regain the muscle strength in my throat so I could properly swallow solid food. Also, I developed Lymphedema where I had a thick pouch of fluid under my chin. I went to another specialist for this and she showed me how to massage away the pouch while wearing a neck brace each night. As soon as the doctors removed my feeding tube from my stomach and the skin healed, I started my fitness program to lose weight and build muscle. All the time I was being treated for cancer, I still had the unrelenting pain in my left and index fingers. During my cancer remission time, I took the time to build upon my mental and physical toughness. I have changed my relationship with food because it was one of my companions that I could count on to make me feel better. My taste buds have not thoroughly recovered and food does not appeal to me anymore. I eat because I want to maintain my strength and well being. I experimented with my diet and fitness program. My diet favors protein over carbohydrates. Surprisedly, all my favorites such as apples, peaches, watermelon, grapes and other fruits taste terrible. Ice cream, donuts and cookies were my favorite snacks but I can do without them. Potato chips and other salted snacks taste terrible. Carbonated drinks seem to explode in my mouth and taste terrible because of the sweeteners. My fitness program is mostly high intensity interval training because it keeps my muscles warm and loose. I believe this type of training helped me lose another 50 pounds of weight which I believe was body fat because I am ripped and I have a six pack. Sometimes I joke that cancer does a body good, but I hope no one goes through the cancer part but I hope everyone adopts a fitness path.